Kate D'Anvers - Relationship Counsellor

About me

Hi, I’m Kate D’Anvers, a registered psychologist originally from New Zealand. I work with couples who are living abroad and need help to navigate challenges and build stronger, happier, more resilient relationships.

I also specialise in working with couples where one or both partners have ADHD (diagnosed or suspected). I have worked with adults with ADHD for almost 25 years and been married to a delightfully disorganised individual with ADHD for almost ten and these experiences have given me a deep understanding of both the positive and more challenging impacts that ADHD has on relationships. I work with a range of really effective strategies for strengthening ADHD relationships without resorting to guilt, blame or to-do lists!

Currently I’m only offering appointments online.
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(Intensive therapy couples-retreats coming in 2025 - let me know if you’d like more information about these)

Couples counselling

I offer structured counselling sessions focused on helping you and your partner…

Understand what’s been going wrong
Develop better communication skills
Improve your conflict resolution abilities
Rebuild friendship, love, affection and respect for each other
Develop shared goals for the future
Manage cultural challenges
Navigate parenting issues

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*Please note, I don’t work with couples where there has been an affair, ongoing domestic violence or when couples are facing addiction issues

Couples counselling for ADHD

Relationships where one (or both) partners have ADHD have some unique challenges. ADHD-specific therapy focuses on helping both partners:

Balance responsibilities within the relationship. ADHD can affect how household responsibilities are managed. Balancing responsibilities in an ADHD-friendly way can make a world of difference.
Improve communication skills. ADHD can make it difficult to properly register, respond to and remember conversations. Both partners can learn effective new ways to ensure communication goes more smoothly.
Manage emotional reactions. People with ADHD often experience emotions intensely which can be overwhelming and frustrating for both parties. There’s lots to be learned to help keep the (internal and external) peace in everyday moments of stress.
Tackle the ‘consistently inconsistent’ behaviour. Despite best intentions, strategies to help often work one week and not the next. Understanding more about ADHD and its impact can help reduce these intensely frustrating (and often shame-inducing) cycles.
Rebuild love and admiration. High energy, impulsivity and a 'live for the now' attitude can be endearing in the early days of a relationship but lead to frustrating issues over time. Counselling can help rebuild the connection and admiration that connected you both initially.
Repairing after conflict. After a conflict it’s important both partners can learn to process what has happened and find ways to repair their connection.

Contact

You are welcome to self refer. You don't need a letter from your doctor or any other source.

Make an appointment

If you would like to speak to me first please send me a message. I'd be very happy to have a free phone consultation with you to see whether we'd be a good fit and answer any questions you may have.

Contact me

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Costs

Sessions are 80 minutes and cost €170. Unfortunately and very frustratingly you cannot use any type of Dutch insurance to pay for sessions nor can you claim back any costs. If you have international insurance it is very likely you can claim a reimbursement but you will need to check directly with them of course. If you have any questions about this please don't hesitate to ask me

HI, I'M KATE D'ANVERS